My cousin Katie is turning 30 in a couple of weeks, so I felt entitled, as the all-knowing older cousin, to offer a bit of advice on a milestone I passed several years ago. Then I started to think about where I was at 29 and where she is today, and the parallels starting jumping out at me. We had both fast-tracked our careers through our twenties and arrived at roughly the same place at 29:
* A great title
* Completely and utterly exhausted
* A great salary
* Bodies that were really unhappy with us
* Passionate about the theory of what we were doing
* Bored and irritated at the details
* A nice apartment
* Single (still). With cat(s).
Being logical women, we did a cost-benefit analysis of the previous 9 years and, while the benefits were high, the costs were high too -- and growing. Both of us made similar decisions: We walked. Katie is starting her studies for her master's degree full time in the fall. I slept for about six months, fell into consulting, and realized I loved being an independent.
So what does this have to do with the future of work? Well, from an anecdotal perspective, I took a look around at many of the people I know in their 30s and realized that they have made the same decision: to leave a (relatively) high powered, high paying position to pursue something else. Those who haven't done so send me emails all the time along the lines of "You are so brave, I wish I could do that." (Number one reason they don't? Health care.)
Thirtysomethings tend to be invisible these days. You see a lot of debate about boomers vs. NetGen/entry level folks, but not a lot about those now reaching mid-career. And I think that companies should be paying attention: many of these people want to leave.
When I was 29 I looked at five women I knew in high-level executive positions at large companies. They were all in their late 40s to early 50s. Each of them had recently adopted a child. All of them were single. And all of them had a reputation at work as a cast-iron bitch. The price they paid for breaking down professional barriers was high.
I decided then that I wasn't going to go that route. At the time, however, there weren't many other options than going solo. So I set up shop, and watched as, a couple of years later, former colleagues did the same thing, victims of the dot.crash. After a taste of independence, going back to the grind seems unthinkable to many of us.
So, bored, discontented, burnt out thirtysomethings leave companies which cannot accomodate their desires. Their passion and talent go with them. What do companies need to do to keep their valuable thirtysomethings?
If you are a thirtysomething, I'd like to hear your stories. Did you walk? Did you stay? Have you helped transform your worklife to create better balance? Do you feel ignored? Valued? Are there things your companies could do to keep you engaged?
You can comment below or send me email at ealbrycht at gmail dot com.
[Tag workplace]
Giovanni Rodriguez
Elizabeth Albrycht
Dave Desforges
Jim McGee
Jim Ware
1. Jim Ware on July 13, 2005 11:39 AM writes...
I too did a major career switch at 30 - quit my well-paying, corporate-career job and went back to graduate school. And I've never regretted it. My career since then (I'm now 30 years past being 30) has actually been a succession of experiences, some in medium-sized consulting firms, some in large bureaucratic organizations, and most recently as a founder and partner of a small (but upcoming, I think!) research and venture firm (www.thefutureofwork.net).
I agree fully with you Elizabeth that tons of mid-career managers are tired of the rat race, and often stay where they are largely because of health care. If we ever get truly portable health care and pensions, look out corporate America.
Just remember: even if you win the rat race, you are still a rat.
It's definitely a whole lot more rewarding (though not necessarily less stressful) to be on your own. The sense of independence, self-control, and making a difference is worth every bit of the stress of wondering how you're going to pay next month's mortgage.
And I frankly believe that those of us who are on our own, with several clients, actually have more job security than someone whose livelihood depends totally on a single manager who may just decide to terminate you on a moment's notice (I've seen that happen to 20-year veterans).
Permalink to Comment2. Dave Opton on July 13, 2005 2:15 PM writes...
This is not just about 30 somethings, although as I reflect back to those years I have to admit I was sure thinking about it. Although it didn't happen until I was 48, and like Jim I am now more than 30 years past 30, but have not looked back either. What I am doing now and have been for the past 17+ years is the most exciting and rewarding experience of my life.
The average age of ExecuNet's membership is 49, and among the other pieces of feedback we got in our annual member survey was now that the economy seems to be holding steady in a upward swing, 61% of those responding (nearly 1500 executives)indicated they we really unhappy with what they were doing and a whopping 77% said they planned to leave within 6 months.
Point being: I am not so sure this is a function of age as it is a function of people's needs to be recognized as individuals not being met or valued by the organization.
Permalink to Comment3. The SpinMD on July 13, 2005 2:24 PM writes...
As if i needed yet another "sign" telling me to set up my own shop, along comes Elizbeth's post (which you might as well have plagiarized directly from the inner sanctum of my career angst). While I agree that it's often a symptom of recognition, I think the greater symptom is one of taking back control of one's life.
Permalink to Comment4. Ruby on July 13, 2005 3:08 PM writes...
I'm 34, but I guess I saw the writing on the wall a lot sooner. I never pursued money or power but went straight into working for nonprofits on the causes I cared about, as soon as I go out of college.
Regardless, I have left more than one good, stable job due to nothing more than poor management. My young colleagues in the non-profit sector have coined the term "managing up" for when you have to lead or supervise your own supervisor. Working for people just 10-20 years older, but who just don't get it (and don't want to) has forced me to take my good ideas and go elsewhere.
I couldn't care less about the independence, and I would really rather have vacation, benefits, and regular paychecks. But I am now working freelance for the second time in my career because it's the only way to do the kind of work I want to do (online advocacy) where I want to do it (I live in North Carolina).
I have also seen my cousins hit the wall when they turned 30 and suddenly wonder what all the hard work was for. My question is, what took y'all so long?
Permalink to Comment5. Kapitan Kidlat on July 13, 2005 7:41 PM writes...
Im 33 and still on-track retiring by 35 :), guess im pretty much burned out already with the corporate atmosphere.
Permalink to Comment6. Jory Des Jardins on July 15, 2005 12:20 PM writes...
Elizabeth,
You wrote my story! Push, push, push until age 29, then the start-up I worked for went under, and everything following seemed anticlimactic. Many of the situations I've been in are similar to before that time, but I think I changed. I soloed, went back to a corporate position, and here I am a solo again. For women in particular its tough, because we see our peers taking two very different routes 1) career 2) family. I think that those of us working on our own off-roaded to build a choice #3.
Permalink to Comment7. Tom Mitchell on July 17, 2005 4:14 AM writes...
Hmmm, I would like an Elizabeth Albrycht of my very own for either a Christmas or a birthday present. There is something most wonderful about beauty and intelligence in one package. Sigh. (it's ok, i am going by memory at my age).
Did a change 3 times, from rubbishy employment early on, to professional employment after my undergrad degree, to another profession enirely after my post-grad work.
Makes for an interesting and rich life, especially as each of us can bring such a richness of experience and viewpoints to the new occupation.
Note, i tend not to distinguish between work and non-work - they are both a part of who i am now.
Permalink to Comment8. Brian Carl on July 20, 2005 4:16 PM writes...
A week from Sunday I turn 37, and I've been burned out for years. ...but feel completely stuck due to family obligations. I read in a career book how many people are "cornered by success," and I guess that's happened to me: with a mortgage, a wife, two kids to put through school, car payments -- I just don't see an escape route that doesn't involve significant risk. If I was a single guy, I'd have been Gone a long time ago, but I just can't put the family up against the odds of making it on my own.
Returning to school seems appealing, but I'm guessing that's just selective memory. (God, the sex was great back then...)
If anyone's got an angle on making a break when you've got a family in tow, I'm all ears.
Permalink to Comment9. Ernesto on July 22, 2005 9:13 AM writes...
I had sort of the reverse experience... I was never particularly goal-driven in my 20s and tended to follow curiosity and interests where they led, in terms of my studies (English and theater) and then the jobs I took (newspaper) ... I didn't make much money at first and never found my way to working in a big city, but I met a lot of great people and got to do a bunch of interesting, if not high paying, things... I really just started to feel as though I was in a "career" when I hit my late 20s.
I didn't ever get that driven vibe until I had kids. Then I was driven -- to make sure I could keep food on the table and pay the mortgage!
Brian, I don't have an angle on making a break to a new career with a family in tow, other than the fact families can make do in a good way with a lot less than people would imagine. We made a switch to a one-income household when our son was born, and what seemed impossible a few months before soon seemed easy (well, I exaggerate ... seemed tolerable).
For me, becoming a parent helped make all the work I do, even the tedious bits, seem worthwhile since I could see the direct result not just in the workplace, but in the things (food, shelter, Dora the Explorer books and Muzzy Spanish courses) I could provide.
Permalink to Comment10. Chris on July 22, 2005 10:33 PM writes...
I am 37, and spent from 32 to 35 on post-grad study that, like many of you, gave me a direction and a vision for 'getting out'. I think it is the key, giving yourself that space and openess to new ideas to see the way.
Also, as someone now actively looking to hire or contract these thirty-somethings ( for what are dream jobs in the creative industry) I still regularly come across a reluctance to trade off the big salary, the holidays, healthcare and regular hours.
The challenge for me as an employer is to woo the thirty-somethings but within a reasonable set of expectations - because the work and the opportunities are out there - just probably not with companies and clients who can afford to pay all the trimmings ( yet ).
Great topic!
Permalink to Comment11. Learn Spanish on July 26, 2005 11:46 PM writes...
The challenge for me as an employer is to woo the thirty-somethings but within a reasonable set of expectations - because the work and the opportunities are out there - just probably not with companies and clients who can afford to pay all the trimmings ( yet ).
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